★★★★★ “More twists than a plate of rotini!” –Kath P.
If the Darwin Award existed as an actual trophy, I’d bet my favorite PS5 controller I’d win it. The dedication would read, To Lena Kozek, for bravely—and idiotically—holding a mob boss at gunpoint in a public library.
Because that’s exactly what I’m doing, and it’s making my upper lip sweat like a shot glass of Fireball on a humid summer’s day.
Yes, I said gunpoint and mobster and library in one sentence. And yes, I’m standing here in my dead mother’s dress, my favorite army boots, holding a gun that, three days ago, I didn’t know I’d been trained to use.
Had it really only been three days? Back then, I’d been excited to pull the trigger on something completely different…
99¢ FOR A LIMITED TIME…
